Ah, the life of a reject.

There are days when the truth smacks you in the face and there is no way to pretend it’s not there. Today is one of those days for me.

I have tried not to lie to myself, even though I continually lie to others. Everyday, I reach out to people, make jokes, stay friendly, but at the end of each day, it’s no different from the day before. More often than not, I acknowledge the fact that I’m only spoken to when I initiate conversation, but today, it’s hitting me kinda hard.

Once again, I’m thrown aside, as the reject that I am. Today, I wonder if I were to die, if anyone would really care. Oh yeah, no doubt people would come and say “hey, she was kinda funny,” and then they would move on, not actually feeling any true loss. And that is beyond depressing. So I sit on my bedroom floor, trying to hide and shrink into the nothing that is my existence. Hating the world, and hating myself.

Cold from the outside in… Freezing from the inside out…

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