The bottomless pit of despair.

So many thoughts, so many doubts. Unending need to just run.

On my drive back from my daughters swim class, I sped. This is not unusual for me. I began to wonder why anything less than 40 mph was too slow, regardless of the speed limit posted. I began to analyze my thought process and came to the conclusion that I want to run away. Leave the job, the family, even the kids. Just run. Never to look back.

What am I running from? The job, although annoying, is not bad at all. The family loves me and I love them, so there’s no need to run from that. The kids are wonderful, again, no need to run from them, either. That leaves me. I’m running from myself. My thoughts. My doubts. My need to be the center of the world. Which disgusts me.

I want to look in the mirror and just tell myself to get over it. I hate being such a needy bitch.

Ugh.

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